Gratitude is an art of painting an adversity into a lovely picture. ~Kak Sri

I’ve struggled with the blog topic this month: Gratitude.

I've been reading about this topic on Facebook all month. “I’m grateful for my family.” “I’m thankful for my great job.” “I’m thankful I haven’t strangled my little brother.” 

And I am thankful…for all those things (well, I don’t have a little brother). But the public gratitude journals on Facebook and Twitter start to sound trite after a few days. Some verge on bragging. So I’ve rethought the topic. I’ve started over several times.

What I keep coming back to is that I am thankful for most (but not all) of the experiences I’ve had in my life. I gained wisdom and experience from them. And I am thankful to be able to share with my friends who may be dealing with the same things. Most of all, I am thankful my friends see me as someone with whom they can trust their fear and pain, as well as their friendship and love.

I have been in a long-term, romantic relationship with books and magazines and the printed word for as long as I can remember. I love to look at book jackets; to touch the paper they are printed on and examine the typography. I long for the block of time that allows me to curl up in a quiet corner with a book and become completely involved in it.

My earliest memories all seem to involve books. I can't remember being told that my parents were divorcing; but I can remember that Mom was away on a trip just after the final decree because I brought my very first 'real book' home from Eastern Hills Elementary School and couldn't read it to her. Isn't it odd that the same memory is attached to two very important, very different events?

As I got older, we went to the library every week, where I would check out the maximum number of books they would allow. I'd usually finish them mid-week and beg to go back for more. Books were a wonderful escape from a tumultuous childhood. They didn't yell; they didn't tease. They didn't make fun of me for being 'too smart' or 'too quiet'. They seemed to appreciate those qualities more than the kids at my new school did.

I remember reading everything I could get my hands on. I read every page of "Gone With the Wind" and "The Wizard of Oz" when I was nine years old. My stepfather read the newspaper at the breakfast table, so I did, too.

I graduated quickly to romance novels and historical fiction, because that is what my mom and grandmother read. The very scandalous (and inappropriate for a girl my age) "Forever Amber", "The Flame and the Flower", "Wolf and the Dove"… I read them all before switching my allegiances to Anne Rice (The Vampire Chronicles, the Lives of the Mayfair Witches), John Grisham and Brad Meltzer.

As work and motherhood encroached, I found I didn't have as much time for reading full novels… far too luxurious a use of time for a busy young mother. But I had magazines…. Lots of them. I subscribed to Spy and George; Wired and Southern Living; Harper's Bazaar and Vogue; Ad Week and Advertising Age.

But I always had a favorite bookstore nearby to go browse in during lunch hours and rare stolen moments. Barber's Bookstore, Taylor's Books, Walden, Barnes & Noble and Borders continued to be my comfortable hiding place. I always felt like I was at home.

So the demise of the bricks and mortar bookstore – Borders in particular – is heartbreaking for me. I already spend a lot of time reading on my laptop computer and my iPhone. I have purchased specific books from Amazon, but don't care for the 'browsing experience' that they give you. Too many ads. Too much information. And that whole "recommended for you" section based on previous purchases? Distasteful. And as much as I know I must, I can't wrap my head around the concept of e-reader.

I have yet to give in and purchase an e-reader, but I know I'm going to have to. According to Pew Research, the number of adults who own one of these devices has doubled in the past year. But it's still only 12 percent. I suppose I'm afraid the files will disappear or become corrupted. It's happened in my electronic music collection more than once. Or that I won't have proper connectivity to be able to download the books I cannot wait to dive into. I've never had a battery drain issue with a paperback.

However, in the interest of being an 'early adopter' of technology (instead of hopelessly old-fashioned) I guess I'll start shopping. Kindle? iPad? What do you think? I would love to have your opinions.  And so would my book-loving friends who previewed this blog for me.

By the way,  if you see me lurking outside of Half-Price Books, please be kind. I'll be getting a fix for my addiction.

I grew up in a family full of women: mother, sisters, aunts, cousins. There was no shortage of advice on things like what to wear; who to date; what to eat (or not eat!). But the best advice I got from my Mother was about self-sufficiency.

• Get a good education so you can

• Get a good job so you can

• Support yourself

• When you get divorced.  (Or in case your husband is hit by a bus).

And never, NEVER have more children than you can take care of by yourself.

For the record, I've done all those things, except the 'divorce' part. I'm still on my 'starter-husband' (who has been hit by a forklift at work, but thankfully not a bus). And I have an amazing son who is learning the same lessons of self-sufficiency that have been so valuable for me. It's a legacy I'm happy to pass on.

Thanks, Mom!

As a busy professional, I don't have time to waste on 'typical' business books.  But this publication, How to Market to People Not Like You, by Kelly McDonald, will give you the tools you need to garner a share of segments you may not have considered. And she does this in a common-sense, easy to understand way. You will learn how to:

• Reach unfamiliar new market segments for your products or services
• Engage micro-segmented customer groups
• Understand the needs and values of diverse customers in order to reach their hearts, minds and wallets

Ms. McDonald is a respected national speaker with a particular expertise in Hispanic Advertising and Marketing.  She offers clear insight  and instruction for reaching a variety of demographic groups.  Balcom Agency has partnered with her firm on behalf of our clients.  

How to Market to People Not Like You is available in hardback and Kindle versions on Amazon.com  and BarnesAndNoble.com.

My Godmother gave me a sterling silver charm bracelet when I was baptized. She added a few charms on it along the way, but bracelets fell out of favor and I tucked it away in a drawer.

But, as many things do, charms came back into favor just around the time Tim and I married. He began giving me these little remembrances of special events. They were thoughtful reminders of the fun we have had. And, for a young couple with a baby, they were inexpensive gifts. But in the words of a MasterCard commercial, they are priceless.

My favorite charm is a sterling silver baby’s cup. It is a replica of the full-size cup our son, Sam, received upon his baptism. I also have a baby shoe, a rocking horse and a “MOM” charm. But this isn’t just a ‘mommy’ bracelet. There is a bier stein from our trip to Germany and a backpack that the boys gave me as we started Boy Scouts. There is a story behind each tiny trinket.

I stopped wearing the bracelet again a few years ago. It clanks on my computer keyboard and gets in the way when I’m typing. (Those of you who have seen my computer keyboard know how hard I am on them … I don’t need any additional help!)

But I’ve continued to collect the charms. More often, I wear them around my neck on a chain or add them to my keychain. I like having a private happy remembrance close to my heart.

I hope that a future granddaughter will be interested in the bracelet someday. Because it tells the story of our family. And I love it.

How will you tell your story?

I’ve had a rule since I joined Facebook that I don’t send ‘friend requests’ to the younger members of my family.  I think it should be their prerogative to invite me into their world.  I don’t want anyone to say, “OMG, my Auntie Lynne sent a Facebook request and I don’t know what to do…. Ick!”

To that end, my son and I have not been connected.  I am friends with several of his buddies (at their request, mind you).  He’s been connected with his dad ever since Tim joined Facebook  (“Mom, I felt sorry for him.  He only had, like, 29 friends and you had over 400.”) But he never sent a request to me and I honored that.

This morning, when I opened my Facebook page, things changed – a shining red button glowed under the friend request tab.  I opened the page, fully anticipating another Chinese hacker.  But it was my son, who is now friend number 571.

Sam is moving out of the house this month, into his own place.  I’ve started struggling with the “are you ready” questions.  I’m not.

But being able to keep up with him, even vicariously through a Facebook wall, will help ease me through the transition (I hope!).   I promise I will not abuse the privilege.  Thanks, Sam!

Last week, I wrote a blog posting about how students could prepare themselves to graduate and move into the job world.  I advised talking to mom’s tennis partner and writing real, pen-and-ink notes to people you meet along the way.

As I drove into work, I got to thinking that this was sound advice for all the professionals I know, as well.  

Several companies that we do business with have had layoffs recently.  People I worked with every week were suddenly unemployed. And I wanted to help…. Because if the shoe were on the other foot, I’d hope someone would help me, as well.

So I started working my network.  I called people, made introductions and know at least a couple of these people are employed once again.  The good feelings are far better than any monetary reward (although a sushi lunch MIGHT be exchanged in one instance!)

Networking doesn’t mean calling everyone you know when you need a new job (although people do that). It doesn’t mean seeing who can collect the most business cards at a chamber function.

Merriam-Webster defines networking as:

the exchange of information or services among individuals, groups, or institutions; specifically : the cultivation of productive relationships for employment or business

I define it as following the Golden Rule. It’s being friendly. It’s being helpful.  It’s making introductions and sharing advice.  It’s good Karma.  It’s not hard and it’s not scary.

Networking starts long before a job search, and you probably don't even realize you are doing it.  Join a professional organization, volunteer at church, participate in a community fundraiser.  You’ll meet like-minded individuals who can enrich you both personally and professionally.  

And if you are REALLY good at it, perhaps a sushi lunch!

I speak to student groups several times a year about the exciting, glamorous world of advertising.  I usually recommend changing majors immediately.  But if you get the Ad Bug, you can’t imagine doing anything else.  So what can you do now to land that dream job when you graduate?  Be prepared for What’s Next!

Learn to write in complete sentences.  You can’t always communicate in 140 character tweets.  Punctuation is important. Always spell-check.

Mac computers may rule the creative industry, but your clients are using PCs.  Learn to use them both. Learn Excel, PowerPoint and Word along with the graphics programs.

Become a confident public speaker in front of small and large groups.

Learn to deal with difficult people in classroom group projects.  You’ll meet these same characters in the business world. One will likely be your cubicle partner and steal your lunch from the kitchen.

Keep the textbooks for your major classes.  One of my professor’s gave me this advice when I called for help:  “Read the next chapter.”

Don’t waste too much time applying for every job you see online that makes you think, “I could do that.”  So can thousands of others who have seen the ad. Target your job search and find out everything you can about the companies you are interested in.

Experience pays. Get an internship/job in the field.  Volunteer with a non-profit.  Work at the student paper or radio station.  

Network – let everyone you know that you are looking for a job. Don’t be afraid to tell your Mom’s tennis partner that you are looking.  You may be surprised at who she knows!

Get a professional email address.  HotBod123@yahoo.com is NOT professional!  Check the greeting on your cell phone, too. 

Become fluent in Social Media.  Clean up drunken party pix on your FB page before you start the job search. Employers are checking.

Join a club like Dallas Society of Visual Communicators, American Advertising Federation, Public Relations Society of America, American Marketing Association. Then actually PARTICIPATE!

Collect business cards from everyone.  Write notes (with ink and paper) to professionals you meet along the way. Stay in touch, even if you don’t get the job. It took me almost 18 months to land my job at the B.  It was worth the effort!

Cultivate a good attitude.  It’s going to be hard work, long hours and low pay. The grace that you exhibit under pressure will take you far.

My husband, the Boy Scout, has a dream of completing the entire length of the Appalachian Trail, an approximately 2175-mile hiking trail in the eastern United States.  It can be completed, from Georgia to Maine, in about six months, if you don't stop.  As a section hiker, who completes 50 to 75 miles per trip, he thinks he may be done by 2035.

If I want to see him on summer vacations anytime during the next 26 years or so, I figured I better start to love hiking, too.  So I ventured out on a short (27-mile) trek with our family in Georgia.

I was not completely certain about this trip, but how hard can a few day-hikes be?  Besides, there was a Spa Day waiting for me at the end of the trail.  Guess what?  Three day-hikes can kick your ass and make you doubt all of your abilities.  But, in the end, this trip taught me a few things about myself, about life and about the value of extra effort.

1. "Can't see the forest for the trees."  To quote Robert Frost, "the woods are lovely, dark and deep" and you can easily trip and fall over tree roots and rocks if you aren't paying close attention to your footing.  This can prevent you from seeing the overall beauty of the area.  It is okay to stop, catch your breath and catch the breathtaking views.

2.  Strength comes from within.  And sometimes from your quadriceps.  This was as much a mental journey as a physical one.  I never thought of myself as an athlete, but I am one. Mental strength saves the day when muscles are trying to stop you in your tracks.

3.  There are no tears in hiking.  Except when there are.  Wear sunglasses and no one will know.

4.  It is okay to have help.  Hiking poles are your friends.  You will have tighter triceps from using them.

5.  It is impossible to train adequately on flat terrain.  No stair machine allows you to walk downhill on top of rocks.

6.  Refill your water whenever you find a clear stream.  But always use a purifying agent, no matter how clean it looks.

7.  It is not a race; it is a journey.  It is okay to be the last one into camp, as long as you get there. When you have the car keys, they will wait for you.  But when you are hiking with family members who scramble like mountain goats, it is hard to remember.  See #3 about wearing sunglasses.

8.  Things are not always as they seem.  Not every black, fur-bearing animal that charges you on the trail is a bear.  Sometimes it is a Labrador Retriever who wants his ears scratched.

9.  Climbing above your comfort zone will not kill you.  You may wish you were dead; maybe pray you were.  But perseverance pays off.

10.  The Summit is worth the effort.

Does anybody really care?

I've been 'watch-free' for two weeks now.  While we were backpacking, I didn't wear it. And when we got home, I realized the battery had died. I haven't quite gotten around to replacing it yet.

And may not. Between the clocks in my car, on my computer, the cable box, the TV, the stove, the microwave, the coffee maker, the iPod and my iPhone, I haven't really missed it.  Except as a lovely piece of jewelry.  

My mother, on the other hand, had to send her watch out for repairs that will take several months.  She is so ingrained to the culture of time that she immediately bought a replacement watch to wear in the meantime.

Will this be the a new generation gap? Those who carry time on their wrist instead of in their technology? 

Perhaps.  But Mother also has lovely taste in jewelry. Maybe I can borrow hers, when the original is repaired.