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“Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.”

“Here’s looking at you, kid.”

“You’re gonna need a bigger boat.”

“I love the smell of napalm in the morning.”

These famous and familiar film quotes originated from films made in 1939, 1942, 1975 and 1979. Topics run the gamut from a magical land to pre-World War II heartache, from man-eating sharks to the Vietnam War’s effect on the psyche. Yet, no matter how different they are, they all have something in common: They each have one line that is synonymous with the film it originated from. These quotes have stood the test of time – some as long as 74 years. Think about it: One sentence from a film that is recognized in context 74 years later within pop culture? That’s impressive.

Film quotes have become a part of our everyday lingo. Here at Balcom, we love our film quotes. If someone is leaving the office for a meeting, they’ll probably say, “I’ll be back” in their best Arnold Schwarzenegger voice. If a client is five months behind on paying an invoice, you’ll usually hear our accounting manager, Toni, shouting, “Show me the money!” from her desk. You get the point – most people inject film quotes, whether inadvertently or not, into their daily conversations.

But what makes a specific film quote resonate with an individual? We asked the Bs to pick their favorite film quote of all time, and after a lot of arguing back and forth about the impossibility of picking just ONE, we were able to compile a list.

Find out which quotes speak to the Bs, and please share your favorite film quote with us in the comments below!

 

“Anything different is good.”

– Phil Connors, “Groundhog Day” (1993)

Rob: “Life is about change, moving forward, and growing on a personal, intellectual, and spiritual level.”

 

“So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; and we're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever. You and me ... every day.”

– Noah Calhoun, “The Notebook” (2004)

Audrey: “I’m a sucker for love stories. It gives me butterflies every time I hear it. And, it’s true – love takes work.”

 

"After all, tomorrow is another day."  

– Scarlett O'Hara, “Gone With the Wind” (1939)

Lynne: “As someone who lives and dies by the deadline, it's good to have some perspective.”

 

“Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.”

– Van Wilder, “Van Wilder” (2002)

Jennifer: “As someone who notoriously worries, this quote reminds me that sometimes you just have to let things go. Some things are out of our hands. Write that down.”

 

“You know, I have a friend who works at the crime lab at the police station. I could give him your toothbrush and he could run a test on it ... to see if you actually brushed your teeth ... or just ran your toothbrush under the faucet."

– Buck Russell, "Uncle Buck" (1989)"

Lesley: “It clearly demonstrates how awesome it would be to have John Candy as your uncle!”

 

“Heed! Paper! Now! Move that melon of yours and get the paper, if you can. Hauling that gargantuan cranium about. I’m not kidding that boy’s head’s like Sputnik. Spherical, but quite pointy in parts. Well that was offside wasn’t it? He’ll be crying himself to sleep tonight on his huge pillow.”

– Stuart Mackenzie, “So I Married an Axe Murderer” (1993)

Holly: “It's just one of those stupid-funny movies with memorable lines that still rattle around in my head.”

 

“A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.”

– Will Bloom, “Big Fish” (2003)

Chip: “I've never let the truth get in the way of a good story. For me, the facts are a lot less important than the feeling. That's what people want in life – they want a good story.”

 

“Well, I believe in the soul, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. Goodnight.”

– Crash Davis, “Bull Durham” (1988)

Toni: “I agree with most of the ideologies in this quote, especially the part about opening your presents on Christmas morning! 'Bull Durham' is one of the greatest baseball movies ever made, and this quote is a great philosophy to live by.”

 

“All cowboys ain't dumb. Some of 'em got smarts real good, like me.”

– Bud Davis, “Urban Cowboy” (1980)

Spencer: “This movie is greatly under-appreciated! It has witty dialogue & an excellent soundtrack!”

 

"Sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn’t eat the filthy mother*****!"

– Jules Winnfield, “Pulp Fiction” (1994)

Trey: “Pulp Fiction is one of the greatest movies of my generation. It revolutionized the way stories are told in film through the use of metaphors and by doing what we expect in an unexpected way. The entire film is actually an allegory of the American music scene, specifically rock & roll. Jules (the character) is one of the most badass characters in the movie. In this particular scene, he and Vincent are discussing animal consumption – which animals are or aren't edible based on taste vs. charm. It’s a brilliant conversation and this quote is one of the most memorable of the entire discussion, not to mention funny as hell.”

 

Sherriff Jeff Lord: “Any trouble here, Mr. McLintock?”

George Washington McLintock: “No trouble, Sheriff.”

Sherriff Jeff Lord: “How about you, Douglas.”

Matt Douglas: “Douglas. Just plain Douglas, eh. And you call him Mr. McLintock. Why?”

Sherriff Jeff Lord: “Well, Douglas, I guess that's because he's earned it.”

– “McLintock” (1963)

Ali: “The BEST movie of all time. So many good quotes, but I like the underlying theme of earning respect – something a lot of the world (young and old) forgets these days.”

 

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

– Ferris Bueller, “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” (1986)

Alan: “It rings true.”

 

"The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it."

– Rafiki, “The Lion King” (1994)

Victoria: “I love this quote because while it comes in a moment of humor (after he smacks Simba on the head with his walking stick), Rafiki's statement is applicable in the real world, not just to the lions who inhabit Pride Rock. This moment is truly reflective of why Disney is so universally loved – the mix of humor and shockingly simple truths that people carry with them far past childhood.”

 

"And we must remember that all these things, the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties, which we assume only accessorize our days, are effective for a much larger and nobler cause. They are here to save our lives. I know the idea seems strange, but I also know that it just so happens to be true."

– Karen Eiffel, “Stranger Than Fiction” (2006)

Stephanie: “It's a movie about a man who discovers he's the main character in a tragic novel, and goes about trying to avoid his imminent death. And it's about finding meaning in our lives the way we find it in literature: this quote kind of sums that up.”

 

Mary: “Bread ... that this house may never know hunger.” [Mary hands a loaf of bread to Mrs. Martini.] “Salt ... that life may always have flavor.” [Mary hands a box of salt to Mrs. Martini.]

George Bailey: “And wine ... that joy and prosperity may reign forever.”  

– “It’s a Wonderful Life” (1946)

Kim: “This is my favorite movie of all time, but this quote also reminds me of my best friend's wedding nearly 20 years ago. Her dad gave a toast and presented the couple with these gifts.”

 

Annie Reed: “Now that was when people KNEW how to be in love. They knew it! Time, distance ... nothing could separate them because they knew. It was right. It was real. It was ...”

Becky: “A movie! That's your problem! You don't want to be in love. You want to be in love in a movie.”

– “Sleepless in Seattle” (1993)

Ashley: “We have to allow people to be human, normal, flawed and such. I love to quote this funny and true reminder when thinking or talking about expectations – even though this is about romance just about any life situation or relationship applies. Life and movies are, graciously, not the same.”

 

"…In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock."

– Harry Lime, “The Third Man” (1949)

Jamie: "This quote is such a perfect distillation of the mentality of the character (who steals penicillin from military hospitals during WWII, dilutes it, and then sells it on the black market), but it also reveals how easy it can be to rationalize the very worst of human behavior, which makes me think of another quote from the 1983 film 'The Big Chill': 'I don't know anyone who could get through the day without two or three juicy rationalizations. They're more important than sex.' And Orson Welles' delivery of the 'cuckoo clock' line is brilliant."

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Mark your calendars! The 85th annual Academy Awards (the Oscars) are scheduled for this Sunday, Feb. 24, 2013. This could be a record-breaking year for the Oscars, as this year’s Best Actress category includes the nomination of Quvenzhané Wallis, 9, the youngest actress to ever be nominated for the Best Actress award. If Wallis wins, she will be the youngest person to ever win an Academy Award for acting, beating Tatum O’Neal’s record set in 1974 for her Best Supporting Actress win at 10 years old for “Paper Moon.”

Interestingly, although Wallis is now 9 years old, she was only 6 when “Beasts of the Southern Wild” was filmed. Wallis is also from Houma, La., the same part of Louisiana as Lesley’s in-laws!

We polled the B team to find out their picks in the top six categories of Hollywood’s biggest night. See our picks below and let us know who you think is going to win!

 

 

Let’s face it: we’re a society of addicts. We’re all just one intervention away from breaking down in tears and handing over our smartphones in defeat. Here at Balcom, the Bs are no different.

I won’t mention a name, but there’s one person at the office whose eyes are like a direct laser beam to their iPhone. Our face-to-face conversations pan out like a bad date: I sit there talking endlessly about myself while this person, who shall remain nameless, is captivated by an app, occasionally reassuring me by saying “I’m listening” when I pause during my monologue. Apparently, eye contact and human interaction are his (or her? I’m still not telling) kryptonite.

I’ll admit it – I had an unhealthy addiction to Words with Friends after getting my iPhone. With 20+ games going simultaneously, I spent my waking moments enraptured by the app, trying to attain triple-word scores by haphazardly throwing together configurations of letters that Words with Friends would accept – so-called “words” that undoubtedly left the dictionary scratching its head.

In a state of unbridled honesty (and forced compliance), the Bs decided to face their addictions* and come clean about the smartphone apps they can’t live without:

Entertainment Addicts:

Jamie is addicted to the Solitaire app, playing it while in line at the store, at the doctor's office, or waiting for a meeting to start. She’s played 39,441 games and 1,071 hours worth of Solitaire. Jamie has admitted she has a problem.

Mike just can’t stop the music. He has to have his Spotify app.

Lauren T. is addicted to the Facebook app (along with the rest of the world).

Audrey is an Elf Yourself addict – which is the reason the Bs refuse to share pictures with her anymore.

Who knew Kim was so addicted to celebrity gossip? All those times we thought she was emailing from her phone, she was probably just checking her People CelebWatch app!

Coffee Fiend:

Poor Steve. We knew he liked coffee, but the extent of his dependency is now becoming clear. Steve uses the Starbucks app (multiple times a day, we’re sure) to pay for his orders, redeem rewards for free drinks, and find locations when the caffeine cravings become unbearable.

News & Sports Junkies:

Chip is a Zite Personalized Magazine junkie. The app compiles the stories he’s interested in, without him having to check multiple sources.

Eric, like many guys, is an ESPN ScoreCenter junkie. He tried to downplay how much the app meant to him, but we all know that the road to recovery begins with overcoming denial.

Saying we’re concerned about Toni’s Twitter use would be an understatement. A self-proclaimed Twitter app junkie, Toni admits she “didn’t know what she did before Twitter.” One day at a time, Toni.

Carol is full-blown Echofon junkie. She uses the app to review her Twitter feed and the many lists she’s created, which include a News list, where she scans Tweeted headlines from various outlets; a client list that allows her to check on clients’ feeds; and a B Team list to keep up with Tweeting Bs.

Weather Fanatics:

Trey is fanatical about checking The Weather Channel app to make sure he doesn’t head out into dreaded cold weather. Since we’re in Texas, we’re guessing this isn’t a daily problem.

A die-hard weather app fanatic, Alan currently has over 10 variations of weather apps on his phone. Oh dear.

Surfing Aficionado:

Carol uses the Surf Report app from Oakley to check the tides, wave heights, and temperatures at beaches around the world (and hopes that a teleportation feature is released soon). We’d seen her leave in the middle of meetings, grab her surfboard and run hurriedly from the office – now we know why!

Obsessive Organizers:

Lauren M. & Krystal are obsessive about keeping their personal finances in check with the Chase Mobile app.

Ashley and Stephanie love the super-organizing app, Evernote. They use it to take notes and organize to-do lists that sync with their devices. They can obsessively check it throughout the day to make sure everything is still organized – which it always is.

Krystal and Kim are two organized moms! They both use the RenWeb app to daily check their children’s grades, homework, or the school directory. We’re just glad our parents couldn’t check our grades from their phones when we were growing up!  

Jeff is obsessed with the Google Now app, a virtual assistant for Android users – which Jeff claims is the superior version of Apple's Siri. (Jeff is using the classic tactic of diverting attention away from his addiction by criticizing someone else – in this case Siri.)

Directionally Challenged:

Audrey, Toni & Steve would be lost – figuratively and literally – without the Google Maps app.

Compulsive Communicators:

Victoria and Lynne are compulsive texters. The iMessage app allows them to make plans and keep in touch with friends. Plus, in Lynne’s case, it allows her to keep in contact with a son who doesn’t use his phone for talking.

Ali has to deal with a daily influx of text messages from all her friends. To solve this, she uses the DeskSMS app that forwards her text messages to her Google chat so she can quickly type a response without ever picking up her phone. We wish we were this popular.

Brian can’t live without his emails, so he compulsively checks his Gmail app every five minutes.

Hooked on Houses:

Lesley is hooked on the Realtor.com app, which she uses to search new listings in her neighborhood. We’re hoping she finds a home soon – she keeps randomly dropping terms like “appraisal,” “FHA” and “escrow” into work conversations – no one knows what she’s talking about.

So, now that you know our app weaknesses (and since you’re in a safe place where you won’t be judged), what’s your must-have app? Please tell us in the comments below so we don’t feel so insecure!

 

*The Bs are taking the necessary steps to overcome their app addictions, starting with the basics: looking to their childhoods and finding the root of their issues. We’re told there’s an app for that.

Photo source

With 2012 quickly becoming a distant memory, the Bs decided to take a look back at our favorite ads of the last year. As individuals, we each had a different set of criteria for our choice of favorite ad: whether it played on emotions, spoke to our sense of humor, or simply struck us with its sheer ingenuity.

After a lot of deliberating, we narrowed down the competition to share with you our top picks for favorite ads of 2012:

1. Allstate "Mayhem"

You must live under a rock if you haven't seen an Allstate "Mayhem" commercial on TV. The campaign began in 2010, when we were introduced to the now infamous "Mayhem" character, played by Dean Winters. Whether Mayhem is the blind spot of your car sending you into an occupied lane or a less-than-vigilant guard dog letting thieves walk away with your valuables, we've learned – in a comical way – that mayhem is everywhere and Allstate can help. Our favorite pick for 2012 goes to Allstate's "Mayhem: Super Fan." It's easy to see why:  

2. LEGO "Imagine"

Designed by Jung von Mutt for LEGO, the "Imagine" ad campaign is clever yet deceivingly simple. Initially, the audience may be unaware of the image within the image, but with a little imagination you might be able to decipher some of your favorite cartoon characters.  

3. Chipotle "Back to the Start"

The emotional and endearing stop-motion short film "Back to the Start" portrays a farmer grappling with the choices he makes on his farm. Ultimately, the choices he makes cause he and the audience to question the welfare of the animals and the industrialization of the food industry. With an evocative soundtrack of Coldplay's "The Scientist" covered by Willie Nelson, "Back to the Start" definitely earns its spot as a top contender for our favorite ad of 2012.

4. SportsCenter "John Clayton"

Beginning in 1994, SportsCenter's "This is SportsCenter" campaign has many years of practice making its audience keel over with laughter. In 2012, SportsCenter debuted their "John Clayton" commercial featuring real-life ESPN writer and reporter John Clayton – a seemingly dorky and unassuming character – who is revered for his professionalism and contributions to the company; however, within seconds, the audience sees Clayton finish his segment from his childhood bedroom, and the rest you'll have to watch for yourself:

5. Ultimat Vodka "Stop Working. Start Drinking."

Guerilla marketing at its finest, Ultimat Vodka's "Stop Working. Start Drinking." ad goes sky high to intimately reach its target audience. Watch how these window washers get the message across to men and women at work in New York and Chicago:

Find out which ad each Balcom Agency employee chose as their favorite for 2012:

Ali finds this Starburst Flavor Morph "Mean Streets" commercial funny every time. Besides the humor, it earns points for tying in the product with the fun, youthful demographic that enjoys the candy.

Ashley chose this Crest "3D White" Whitestrips commercial because of its ability to speak directly to the problem.

Alan and Carol love Allstate's "Mayhem" campaign and its vitality over the years. They agree "Mayhem: Super Fan" wins as one of the best of 2012, but runners up include "Mayhem: Raccoon" and "Mayhem: Blind Spot."

Jamie picked Allstate's "Mayhem: Guard Dog" ad. As a whole, the campaign has found virtually endless ways to dramatize the central idea — talk about a concept with legs!

Chip chose Ultimat Vodka's "Stop Working. Start Drinking." ad because of the unique approach to reaching the target audience.

Eric chose this hilarious Carlton Draught "Beer Chase" ad – an original take on not drinking and driving that is still able to show people's preference for the beer.  

Jeff gravitates towards minimalistic ads, so it's no wonder he chose this simple and effective LEGO ad "Imagine" as his favorite. It forces the viewer to do the work, but the payoff is great when you see it.

Jennifer chose this NFL Evolution commercial about a mother's concern for her little boy playing football, and how the NFL is making the game safer. The irony that Ray Lewis is her son is hilarious, and hearing Tom Brady call him a "cute kid" never gets old.

Kim chose the Canon "Imagination" ad because of the brilliant concept and stunning execution of the commercial, which shows people capturing amazing shots with the camera. 

Krystal chose Proctor & Gamble's "Best Job" video – a salute to moms worldwide – which went viral on social media during the 2012 Olympics.  

Lauren M. loved the Fiat "Immigrants" commercial because it grabs your attention when the cars drive into the sea. Overall, it taps into cultural associations and the international appeal of the car.

Lauren T. picked AT&T's "Hello" ad because of three reasons: it's about football, it's a viral social media piece and it's inspiring. 

Lesley & Steve appreciate the deadpan style of the "This is SportsCenter" ads, so it's no surprise that they both chose the hysterical "John Clayton" ad as their favorite for 2012.

Lynne's favorite ad of 2012 was Shiner Wild Hare Pale Ale's "Breeding Habits," a great play on Mutual of Omaha's "Wild Kingdom."

Stephanie has a soft spot for jingles, so IHOP's 2012 "Everything you love about breakfast" anthem sang straight to her heart … and also left her hungry for pancakes!   

Toni picked Chipotle's "Back to the Start" stop-motion short film as her favorite ad of 2012. The emotional and endearing ad makes the audience question the industrialization of the food industry.

Susan enjoyed the skilled air drums in Volkswagen's "Passat Rocking Out" commercial, but it also garners praise for being memorable and true to life.

Trey picked this clever, compelling Land Rover S1 Phone ad for the tough yet sophisticated look of the vehicles, the connection to Africa/wildlife (his favorite place) and the heritage of the brand.

 

Have a favorite ad from 2012?  Please share it with us in the comments below!

 

Photo credit: Dots in Sights

I love, love, love the holiday season. Yes, I’m that person that starts playing Christmas music in October and puts up Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving – I’m obnoxious, and I know it. Everything about the holidays puts me in a good mood: the smell of pumpkin candles, drinking hot chocolate, eating sugar cookies, the brisk weather (well, this is negotiable for Texas), the Christmas lights gleaming, and the anticipation of Santa’s arrival.

However, I am well aware that the holiday season doesn’t have the same affect on others. It seems that many people get overly stressed during the holiday season, especially at the thought of Christmas shopping. So, if you’re feeling Grinchy this year, here’s some ways you can avoid the usual stress of the holidays.   

Start Early: Don’t leave the Christmas shopping until the last minute; make sure you hit the stores early (October or November) before the crowds arrive. There is nothing worse than the onset of road rage from mall parking lots. By going early, you don’t run the risk of buying a lame gift out of desperation, and you’ll also be able to shop around for the best prices.  

Make a List: This is the easiest way to organize your Christmas shopping. Make a list of everyone you will be buying a gift for. Then, start jotting down gift ideas next to that person’s name. Also, write down a list of what you want this year, and be sure to mention these things to your family.

Buy an extra gift: It’s inevitable that a neighbor or co-worker, who you didn’t buy a gift for, will end up giving you a gift. Although it isn’t always necessary to return their kindness with a gift, a can of yummy ginger snaps or a scented candle can be easy to exchange in a pinch. Plus, this will save you another trip to the store.

Just ask: When it comes to family members, always start by asking what they want for Christmas. Unfortunately, as we get older, we feel it isn’t acceptable to write down our Christmas wish list, let alone actually tell someone what we want. You never know, your aunt might be overjoyed to tell you that all she really wants for Christmas is “Magic Mike” on Blu-ray. This makes your Christmas shopping so much easier, and people get what they really want.

Shop Online: If you truly can't stand the mall, consider shopping online. The website Overstock.com has low shipping fees and free shipping if you spend over $50. Plus, they have everything imaginable from jewelry to home furnishings to electronics. Another good website is Etsy.com, where you can purchase unique, homemade and customized gifts for the whole family. Also, try browsing online before heading to the store, so you have a plan in place. This saves you from aimlessly walking around the store and potentially going home empty handed. 

Remember, it’s the thought that counts: Christmas is meant to bring families together. It is meant to be a joyous time. Don’t go crazy buying gifts you can’t afford. You won’t be celebrating if all you can think about is how much debt you’ve accrued. Think back on your favorite Christmas memories. They're likely memories of spending time with friends and family, not the specific gifts you received that year. Make a budget and stick with it – and don’t feel the need to apologize for spending less on people’s gifts.  

Give back: There is nothing worse than being down on your luck during the holiday season. When you get stressed over slightly burning the Christmas turkey, think about those who have no food to enjoy on Christmas. This year, be sure to do some good in your community, like donating a gift to Toys For Tots or dropping off food at your local food bank.  

Don’t forget: Be Merry! 

Don’t let the person who cuts you off in the mall parking lot ruin your day. Be sure to enjoy the holidays and make some great memories. Host a small Christmas gathering and serve something unique, like apple-pie spiced cider that everyone will remember. Have the whole family help decorate the tree while listening to Christmas music. Gather your family around the TV to watch “A Christmas Story” or "Christmas Vacation" while drinking hot chocolate. Sit your kids down and read The Polar Express before bedtime. These are the things that I remember from my childhood that make Christmas such a special time of year. Don’t let the holidays stress you out – get organized and make some wonderful memories; you never know how big your little Grinch heart might grow!

 

Photo credit: www.themoviedb.org

 

Two years ago, I couldn’t have named one running back in the NFL, let alone tell you which team won the Super Bowl that year.

Last year, I was asked to join a fantasy football league. I’m not sure what was more embarrassing: the fact that I knew nothing about football or the fact that I wasn’t sure what fantasy football was or how it worked.

I agreed to play and showed up to the fantasy draft with some players’ names scribbled down on a pink post-it note. When I saw all the other league participants with spreadsheets and laptops at the ready, I knew I was in over my head.

The plan for my draft was simple: I just picked players who were blessed with good looks. I had a short list (because I’m picky – hence the post-it), which consisted of a few players that had caught my eye on magazine covers or “TMZ.” Fortunately for me, one of my picks, Drew Brees, actually had some skill on the field.

When it came to picking a defense, I was stumped – I didn’t know what to do. Finally, other people in my league just started suggesting teams to pick, and I ended up with the Chicago Bears’ defense. From there, I thought it was only fitting to name my fantasy football team of 2011 “The Bad News Bears.”

We were bad news. Drew, or ‘Drewy Boo’ as I like to call him, tried to carry the team on his own by consistently putting up big points each week. Unfortunately, it was a one-man show. Reggie started out rocky for weeks – well, let’s be honest, months. And poor LT never seemed to find his groove. (I nearly drafted him again this year, but thankfully, a quick Google search prior to draft night proved he had “retired.”)

Shortly after the season began, I traded some of my pretty boys, hoping some new players could pick up some slack. Unbeknownst to me, one of my new picks, Plaxico Burress, had recently been released from prison after a two-year stint for criminal possession of a handgun. Allegedly, Plaxico had accidently shot himself in the leg while at a nightclub. Of course, my league found my trade choice to be extremely amusing.

But, I guess Plaxico’s leg had healed nicely while he served his time in prison because he ended up being the least of my worries – my other players continued to underperform and my team lost matchup after matchup, week after week. Ultimately, I finished the season in last place. I’ve always thought there should be a consolation prize for the person that places last. Apparently, no one else gets a consolation prize other than second place – whatever. 

So, here I am in 2012, throwing away my money again to participate in fantasy football. Luckily, I was able to draft Drew ‘Drewy Boo’ Brees again this year, which (to the relief of my fellow league members) prevented me from bursting into tears and having a public meltdown.

I also picked Reggie, again, for three reasons:

1. I want him to succeed so he can show Kim Kardashian what she’s missing.

2. He’s playing for the Miami Dolphins again this year and Turquoise is my favorite color.

3. He’s just so adorable.

Here’s the motley crew I handpicked for this year’s aptly named “Gone with the Brees” fantasy team*:

Gone With the Brees

QB – Drew Brees (NO)

WR – Wes Welker (NE)

WR – Andre Johnson (Hou)

RB – Matt Forte (Chi)

RB – Reggie Bush (Mia)

RB – DeAngelo Williams (Car)

TE – Antonio Gates (SD)

K – Stephen Gostkowski (NE)

DEF – San Francisco 49ers

Bench:

QB – Sam Bradford (StL)

RB – Pierre Thomas (NO)

RB – Donald Brown (Ind)

WR – Antonio Brown (Pit)

WR – Devery Henderson (NO)

Let’s hope I do better than last year, which wouldn’t be much of a stretch.

Since I love the Saints so much, I did contemplate drafting the entire New Orleans Saints starting lineup, but I rationalized that this could get tricky come bye week.

See, I’m already learning.

 

*Trade suggestions and recommendations are gladly accepted.

Photo: Wikipedia

Photo: Jennifer's rescue dog, Sloan, an 8-year-old border collie/heeler mix.

America is a country of animal lovers. According to the ASPCA, approximately 62 percent of all households in the United States own a pet; however, we are currently facing a severe overpopulation crisis of domestic animals in our nation’s shelters.

The ASPCA estimates that 5 to 7 million companion animals enter animal shelters nationwide every year. Sadly, of these numbers, 3 to 4 million dogs and cats are euthanized annually in the United States.

Yet, despite these statistics, animal-loving Americans continue to seek out breeders and pay hundreds (sometimes even thousands) of dollars to purchase their pets.

So, what is the rationale behind buying a dog from a breeder?

You want a purebred dog. Did you know, more than 25 percent of dogs in local shelters are purebred? Plus, many rescue organizations are breed specific and overflowing with adoptable purebred dogs. You will find an abundance of rescue groups in your area, but here are just a few examples of Texas-based rescues: Good Shepherd Rescue of Texas, Texas Cattle Dog Rescue, Legacy Boxer Rescue, All Border Collie Rescue, Texas Husky Rescue.

You want a puppy. Shelters and rescue groups always have available puppies, especially in the spring and summer months. It’s funny because most people think they want a puppy, when in reality, they have little understanding of how much time and effort it takes to raise and properly train a puppy. Many young dogs are surrendered to the shelters for this reason alone.

You think there must be something wrong with a shelter dog. This is a sad misconception for so many shelter dogs – they are usually there due to no fault of their own. The majority of shelter dogs are loving and kind, and many are usually already housebroken and obedience trained. Another thing to know: there is nothing wrong with a mutt. In fact, they can be healthier and less prone to genetic diseases than a purebred dog.

How do you go about adopting a dog? Here are two options:

1. Local Shelter: Many shelters have designated areas where you can play with your potential new dog, and some even let you bring your current pets to see how they get along. The dog will be spayed/neutered and given their shots.

2. Rescue Group: A rescue group is comprised of volunteers who “rescue” dogs from shelters. They spend months learning the dog’s traits, fostering them in their homes, and getting the dog ready for adoption. They take all the guesswork out of adopting a dog; you’ll know exactly what you are getting and you can find a dog that perfectly fits your lifestyle. Dogs in a rescue group will be:

• Fully checked by a veterinarian
• Spayed or neutered
• Up-to-date on all their shots
• Rid of any intestinal parasites or fleas
• Heartworm tested (and treated, if necessary)
• On monthly flea medicine and heartworm preventative
• Fostered in a family environment
• Temperament tested
• Tested around dogs, cats and children
• Housebroken, or in the process of being trained

In both cases, you will pay an adoption fee for your new dog, which sometimes people think can be high. But take into consideration, these fees probably don’t even cover the costs (listed above) that the shelter and rescue groups have incurred. 

Rescue dogs are amazing, resilient animals who have a lot of love to give, especially for the person who recues them. As an animal-loving country, we should be advocating the plight of pets in our local shelters and educating people on the need for adoptions, spaying and neutering.

Take a trip to your local shelter; walk around and see how many pets are there. Or, check out the list of adoptable pets from a local rescue group. You will be hard-pressed to not see one face that you wouldn’t consider taking home. If you do adopt or rescue your next pet, you should be proud – you have saved a life! In no time at all, you will realize why rescue pets rock!

Remember:

• Rescue dogs have undergone a lot of stress. Give your new dog some time to settle into your new home. It could take months before they start exhibiting normal behavior.
• Research the breed before adopting. Although not all dogs conform to breed standards, some breeds will need more exercise or grooming than others.
• A pet is a huge commitment. Ask yourself if you have the time, money and dedication needed to offer a pet a forever home. Click here for the annual costs of pet ownership.

Local Resources for Fort Worth, Texas:

• Fort Worth Animal Care & Control pet adoptions.
• The Humane Society of Fort Worth available animals.
• Here’s a list of Texas-based, breed-specific rescues.

• Use Petfinder to search for your new pet by ZIP code, breed, size etc.
• Visit Cesar Millan’s website for information on everything from adopting a dog to understanding dog behavior. 

When I first moved from England to Texas in 1999, there were a lot of things I didn’t understand about my new home. Ordering at a Mexican food restaurant was exhausting; the words “quesadilla,” “queso” and “chimichanga” meant nothing to me. My first encounter with a flying roach/waterbug left me locked in my bedroom for hours crying and screaming: “But, what was that thing? And why was it attacking me?”

Here are just a handful of things I’ve learned about Texas over the years:

Texas Weather:

• Texas summers are equivalent to living in an oven. I’ve always questioned why the settlers didn’t just keep going.
• People in Texas don’t know how to drive in the rain. Or ice. Or “snow.”
• Texas doesn’t get a winter. You have a one-day ice storm then the next day it’s 75 degrees and you’re celebrating Christmas in shorts and a t-shirt.
• The weather can fluctuate 60 degrees in one day. No joke.

Food & Drink In Texas:

• Tex-Mex. It is appropriate for 5 different meals: breakfast, lunch, dinner, late night snack and then hangover cure in the morning.
• The best hamburger you will ever eat you’ll find in Texas.
• Mr. Pibb and Root Beer are the greatest creations. Ever.
• Texans are obsessed with iced tea. I still haven’t figured out why.
• A ‘Coke’ refers to every type of soft drink: Coke, Dr Pepper, Sprite, Diet Coke, etc. It just doesn’t make sense to me.
• Ranch goes with everything. Pizza without ranch is now utterly pointless.
• You can put a beer upside down in a margarita and it tastes delicious.

Animals In Texas:

• Everything poisonous lives in Texas. If it crawls, slithers, or pretty much moves in any way, don’t touch it. It could probably kill you.
• Armadillos are the cutest things in the world, but it seems they aren’t very good at crossing the road.
• I’m still not sure if the ‘Horned Frog’ is real or just an urban legend? Same thing goes for the Jackalope.
• Cockroaches are the devil’s creation and grow to preposterous sizes. And, apparently, they can fly.

Even though I’ve been here for 13 years, I still have a lot left to learn! Being from England, I knew very little about the Civil War – really all I knew was what I’d seen in “Gone With the Wind.” I ended up taking a Civil War class in college and was excited to impress my Texas family with my newfound knowledge. One day, I found myself admiring a portrait above the fireplace in my Grandmother’s living room. I turned to her in excitement and earnestly exclaimed: “I really like that portrait you have of Ulysses S. Grant.” She looked at me in horror and sternly replied: “That is a portrait of Robert E. Lee!”

Whoops. My bad. 

I like to give practical gifts – it makes me feel like I’m doing someone a favor by giving them something they need, even if they don’t know they need it. One Mother’s Day, being the caring daughter that I am, I gave my mother a new shower curtain as a gift …

For years I had endured the sight of her nasty shower curtain. It was a horrible plastic material with a mirage of seashells repeated every few feet. One word: hideous. So, I went to Target, bought a metal shower rod, metal shower hooks, a mold-free shower curtain liner and an attractive lilac shower curtain. I individually wrapped each item, making her open the shower curtain last.

Needless to say, she wasn’t overly amused when she opened up the mold-free shower curtain liner on Mother’s Day. I guess the sentiment behind "20 years guaranteed no mold" was lost on her. By the time she finally unwrapped the shower curtain, I think she was more annoyed by the whole process than anything else. In the end, I had to assemble the gift myself.

My advice: don’t go practical when you shop for your mom this Mother’s Day. Just buy her the new purse she wants and call it a day. 

Photo courtesy of: AMCTV.com

I am literally the last person to jump on the bandwagon for anything. So, in natural fashion, I never watched “Mad Men” – even though everyone was raving about how good it was. I actually work in advertising, so my coworkers were constantly harassing me about it. I even gave them these really cool “Mad Men” promotional pens I didn’t want – the ad man falls from the building, just like the intro to the show.

Finally last month, I added all four seasons of “Mad Men” to my Netflix list, and immediately regretted giving away the pens! The show is incredible – witty, smart, captivating and tantalizing. I literally can’t get enough of the characters and the complex storyline.

Set in 1960s New York at the fictional Sterling Cooper advertising agency, “Mad Men” portrays account executives and creative types spending most of their days drinking, smoking and schmoozing clients. So, what’s changed?

I’m just kidding – a lot has changed. Obviously, we don’t smoke inside the office anymore.

Here are some of the differences and similarities between the Sterling Cooper agencies of the 60s and advertising agencies today:

Differences:

• Women aren’t restricted to simply working as secretaries.

• The dress code is far more casual.

• We use computers instead of typewriters.

• It has to be closer to 5 p.m., not 10 a.m., for us to start drinking.

• We don’t take naps on the couches in our offices.

• Lawn mowers are strictly prohibited from office use.

Similarities:

• Advertising remains a fun industry.

• We bring our dogs to the office, just like Duck brought his dog, Chauncey.

• Practical jokes still run rampant.

• We host office parties, although our Christmas party could never be compared to the “Führer’s Birthday.”

• The basic creative process remains the same: copywriters conjure up witty taglines, art directors create the artwork, and creative directors have the final say of what goes before the client.

For the most part, the advertising industry remains as colorful as it’s portrayed in “Mad Men.” The people are unique, and every day is different – you never know what is going to happen. In the words of Roger Sterling: "Believe me, somewhere in this business, this has happened before.” No matter what “this” is, it is probably true!

The award-winning series “Mad Men” returns to AMC this Sunday, kicking off Season 5 with a 2-hour premiere. If you haven’t seen “Mad Men,” I highly suggest you jump on the bandwagon. Trust me, I work in advertising.